How Not to Start A Trip

Step one:  Leave with too much stuff in your bags and pull every muscle in your back and neck.

Step two: Backpack to post office to mail a laptop and other stuff that is too heavy. Why did Mike pack a history textbook?

A happy cop


Step three:  Hail a cab during rush hour on the Chinese May 1st holiday.

Step four: Share a bottle of Jamison with friends.

Step five:  Forget to eat dinner while consuming Jamison.

Step six: Try to hail a cab again during rush hour and then bribe the driver to drive on the sidewalk to get us to the train station.

Step seven: After bribe attempt, realize that your train leaves at 6:25 not 6:45.

Step eight: Arrive at train station at 7:00 and sit on bag with beer until police blow whistles in your face for loitering.

Step nine:  Laugh when girlfriend gets in whistle blowing contest with the police using your emergency whistle.

Step ten: Convert to Buddhism after they exchange tickets for the train for the following day for free.

Step eleven:  Check into hostel in the city in which you have lived for the last year and a half.

Step twelve:  Get lost in that same city looking for friends who are still drinking from the Jamison incident, and find them at local all-you-can-drink brewery to discuss the tenants of libertarianism and wind energy.

Step thirteen:  End up at a classy bar in travel pants that zip off in three different places to have someone tell you that you really need to get your life together…after noticing aforementioned zip-off pants.

Step fourteen:  “I’m sure something else will happen so lets leave this one open.”

Travel tip:  You can exchange your train tickets!  I never knew you could do this.  You definitely could not do this in the states, at least for free.  Perhaps we just looked that pathetic.  Go to window 13 at the shanghai ticket office to exchange your tickets.

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