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Ten Reasons Why the West Coast is WAY Cooler than the East Coast

Here we go! Just the FACTS about why the West Coast is literally a billion times cooler than the East Coast:

1) Movies about the West Coast are usually uplifting, fun and feature scantly clad youths frolicking along the beaches. Movies about the East Coast usually highlight a primary character who has turned selfish and egotistical while striving for some sort of monetary or business related goal.

2) The East Coast has a rich history that includes the earliest days of America’s past. Meanwhile, the West Coast is still wild, untamed and rugged– so are the people who live north of California. People like D.B Cooper and Kurt Cobain.

3) The West Coast produces way better music. Now that’s just a fact.

4) The West Coast, if you get rid of California, is full of people who love the environment. There are ample forests, of the evergreen and rain varieties, as well as untamed beaches, rugged mountain peaks and even ferns that grow out of tree branches. The East Coast has Krispy Kreame.

5) The West Coast has Hollywood. The East Coast has Disney World.

6) The West Coast had the gold rush. The East Coast had a tea party.

7) The West Coast has vampires and werewolves, the East Coast has Pennsylvania Avenue.

8.) The West Coast has the King crab, and salmon. The East Coast has lobster– nature’s ugliest creature.

9) The West Coast has the leading ocean. Now for those non-geologists that’s a plate tectonic joke.

10) You never hear people talk about the dream of moving out East. Our nation’s manifest destiny was literally driven by people moving to the West Coast.

With the exception of Chicago, the entire non-coastal USA is literally just a highway to and from the coasts.




18 thoughts on “Ten Reasons Why the West Coast is WAY Cooler than the East Coast

  1. Judi Benjamin

    You are a hoot and a loonie with your “…except for California”. Your articles are a billion times better than anyone who writes from the hinterland where I happen to be now that I think about it. Fact is, I live on a highway that leads to the coast!

    P.S. If I could afford one of those ugliest animals on earth, I’d eat it in a heartbeat. I saw one at the meat market the other day and just its tail cost $32.95!

  2. Dreamingbig

    East Coast sucks…and like you said, people like to move out west. I live in Maryland and hate it with a burning passion. I cant wait to move to san diego.

  3. DiaFramptonsBalls

    Born and Raised in california! moved out to florida Came back to West Coast(now In northern California) EAST COAST PEOPLE ARE RUDE AS HELL!!(NORTHEAST NYC,NJ etc) no one has conversations with you and people are pretty much selfish and downright nasty! WEST COAST PEOPLE ARE WAY NICER and super chill..especially in SAN FRANCISCO!

  4. Nate

    Wait… how can you exclude California if it is in the west coast? Fact 4 should be nulled.. especially when you’re making a comparison. And as for your first reason, yeah i guess i can agree people on the west coast is more layback than the east.. but we’re not the side with the highest unemployment rates. Get off your lazy ass and do some work.

  5. CW

    Reasons the east coast sucks from someone who lived and grew up there, moved to CA, and then came back:

    1) People are really rude
    2) People are fat and lazy
    3) Absolutely nothing to do
    4) Winter weather
    5) Cloudy 50% of the time
    6) Humidity
    7) Homogenous landscape
    8) Rednecks are 95% of the population
    9) People on the east only have fun that can be purchased in one form or another (SO MUCH TV, amusement parks, Dunkin Donuts, going to freakin’ Wal-Mart to hang out, etc)
    10) Are in most aspects of life about 10-20 years in the past (they get the trends from California after those trends have long rotated out of popularity)

    There you have it. The east coast is a big, ugly, gray, fat, lazy, stupid, flaccid, vapid, empty, backwards, mind-numbing bore that you have to swallow with either intense humidity or snowstorms.

    Common things people from the east say about CA:

    1) I would never live there, there’s earthquakes, wildfires, and mudslides!

    Compared to the east’s tornados, hurricanes, snowstorms, and rain that happen every year without fail, I’ll take my chances.

    2) Everyone out there is so fake!

    No they aren’t and if there were, you don’t have to hang out with them. It isn’t like everyone you talk to is going to be a Hollywood ditz, that’s just you being ignorant. Besides, I’d rather fake Hollywood type people than rednecks. Seriously, come on.

    3) The state is broke.

    Yeah it is….no argument there.

    I know that really “to each their own” applies, but if you want to go toe-to-toe on reasons when California or the west sucks, you will lose. The west is great and you’ve either never been there, are too scared to get on a plane to fly there, or if you were there, you didn’t stay long enough. I can definitively say that when I’m done with this short stint on the east coast, I’m going back to CA and NEVER stepping foot on the east again.

  6. HAydn

    East coast (and all of the USA east of the rockies, not including Canada because its actually nice up there) sucks ass I’m sOoooooo sick of living here im a Mountain man and have been waiting forever to move to, or west of, the rockies and still have to Wait even longer wtf. Personally I think liVing oN the east coast is a giant boring waste of my time (my whole life pretty much up to this point). And don’t even get me started on the storms that pass through every year aNd schools here in jersey that try to take away all of your vacation time over the course of the school year because people can’t handle a little weather and cancel school every time a little bad weather happens. CAN’T WAIT TO LEAVE JERSEY FOR GOOD AND NEVER COME ANYWHERE NEAR HERE EVER AGAIN.

  7. LS

    The East Coast is horrible… i lived there for a year 1/2 and am sooooooo happy to be on the west side! way friendlier, food is healthier (people are too) they go outdoors more and the beaches don’t get crowded with orange whales! oh you don’t need a flippin’ ticket to use the beaches either. nj is the worst state i’ve ever been to. never going back to the east coast unless my job says i have to!

  8. Cav

    This ARGUMENT is rIdiculOus If you Are talking about the land and the people westside is better but if your talking about rappers weStside is a bItch tupac is a over reacting Back stabbeR I won’t argue because it is a fact biGgie is better at rapping and he is not a bitch pLus if biggie was west side I would be westside its not name

  9. Jojo

    First of all cav 2pac is the god of hip hop . Oh wow the notorious pig dealt crack and can freestyle hes so bad . I Dealt crack, still do and i can freestyle . 2pac shot 2 off duty cops to save a brother . He made the best diss song . Fat boy and junior faggot and mObb sleep tried to fuck with th west we was the first to bang on wax . There wouldnt be no pig if he didnt get put on by pac . You stupid lil faggot tryna talk Bout shit you dont know of . Fuck the east coaSt fuck the people In east coast fuck pig fuck p giddy fuck fag boy records fuck mobb sleep fucK junior dick riders fuck lil kim fuck Faith evans fuck em’ all . I hope that Rat infested shit hole sinks . Yall punk ass cowards made diss songs stayed in the east coast snoop n dpg rode Out to the east filmed their diss song out there and yall stfu nd sucked those dicks . Fuck yAll all yall .

  10. Jojo

    We Had snoop doggy dogg 2pac eazy muthaphukkin e ice cube dr dre dj quik makaveli and we Even kickin yall asses in pop music Fuckin katy perry tearing shit up . We always be on top , original gangstas in cali .

  11. aNON

    #2: If by untamed wilds you mean agriculturally worthless wastelands, then sure.
    #3: I think most majority of the music industry would disagree with you.
    #4: So most in California do not understand the environmental science, For the most part cali makes up the majority of the newage pseudoscience authors.
    #5 Disneyland cannot expand and has not seen a new ride in 10 years, it has not had a “e” ticket ride in 25 years. Wile magic kingdom gets a “e” ticket about once every five years, and new rides every other year. Having been to both multiple times i can say Magic kingdom is superior by a long shot.
    #6 The gold rush was multiple countries IT the US it covered most states. (i think you mean the california gold rush), As for the Tea party, if you mean the boston tea party it affected all of the states, as was used as one of the triggers for Revolution. If you mean the Tea party movement (IE those nutjob teabaggers), then no that was in most states including CA.
    #10 Odd, when i lived on the west coast, Most people i have encountered hated it and wanted to move to the east coast (GA, FL, NC, etc)

  12. Dave

    The West Coast is primarily peopled with commie traitor scum/SJW twits and eco-freak dipshits. Morons all.

  13. Chris Burr

    I agree, I was born and raised in Tennessee, I live here with my dad, his wife and my 2 siblings, we all agree we have had it with the backwards state, I’ve been here and got nothing accomplished, there’s a lack of diversity, especially lack of Asians (I’m a white man seeking an Asian wife), so yeah we are so ready and need help, financial and assistance, we are trying to move to lake havasu, Arizona. Can’t wait to get out of Tennessee and off the east coast!

  14. Voice of Reason

    This is literally the dumbest thing I have ever read and evidence of Californians’ low-level intelligence. I could spend days listing off the benefits of the East Coast. Instead, I’ll just rebut your adolescent list from someone who’s actually lived in both places:

    1. Who rates a place based on movies? Is that the best you can do? FYI – the majority of movies are made in California by biased morons such as yourself. Of course they depict your cesspool in a positive light. Common sense 101.

    2. Kurt Cobain killed himself because he was a fragile addict. D.B Cooper was a thief who hyjacked a plane and ran from responsibility. Thank you. They are perfect metaphors for lazy, selfish, hypersensitive Californians who look for the easy way out, at the expense of others.

    3. Dumb. Music is produced around the world and taste is subjective.

    4. Wow. Ferns grow out of trees? So amazing. I mean, just wow. Does a fern grow out of your head? I guess you’ve never heard of the Great Smoky Mountains, Niagara Falls, Shenandoah or Appalachian Trail. Yeah, we sort of have ferns here too, if that’s your thing. As for environmentalists, where do think they flock to protest? Washington, D.C. Why? Because that’s where your laws are created. Kind of important. No? Keep admiring those shrubs while the real work is done here.

    5. Have you actually visited dirty, homeless-littered Hollywood? It’s the capitol of the porn industry, fake reality and overpaid narcissists. You talk about movies. How often do you see West Coast landmarks in movies? The Golden Gate Bridge? That’s it? There are practically none. Instead, you see are countless East Coast symbols of America. Watch any patriotic film and tell me if the cardboard Hollywood sign appears in any of them. SoCal is the armpit of the country, right next to Vegas.

    6. The Gold Rush was an important part of history. In my three years living there, I never once heard it mentioned in conversation or saw a historic site. Whatever small amount of history exists there, it’s lost on the self-centered. Come on. You can do better than the tea party. The east coast is the birth place of the nation. It is the center of immigration and where change happens. Its likely your ancestors viewed the Statue of Liberty as they sailed into harbor for a better life. It’s where the country fought to free slaves, women earned the right to vote, and cities were built. Work ethic was born here, while the laziest of the bunch hopped onto a train for California to find a gold – a shortcut to success and another fine example of your laziness. For better or worse, the East Coast is the heartbeat of the country. On the Fourth of July, no one turns on the television on the Fourth of July to watch fireworks in Santa Monica. Instead, you watch reruns of our broadcasts. Come on man.

    7. Are you back to Hollywood again? Now you’re just incoherent. FYI – the leader of the free world lives on Pennsylvania Avenue, laws are made there and the most important marches and protests affecting all Americans occurred there. But right. You have Twilight.

    8. King Crab and Salmon are Alaska – not West Coast, sorry. I don’t care what Lobster looks like alive. I’m not dating it. But I can say you haven’t had seafood until you’ve tried a fresh Maine Lobster roll, Maryland crab cake or South Carolinian She-Crab Soup.

    9. The leading ocean? Wow. Now you’re just desperate. We have the actual Titanic and Bermuda Triangle. How’s that for you Hollywood lovers?

    10. Places don’t create dreams. You make your own through hard work and talent. People move to the West Coast to escape reality, responsibility and because they hear it’s easier on out there. Simply put — they’re lazy. Yes, it might be easier for someone who leaches off another, shacks up with five friends to afford rent or lives on the street calling yourself a free spirit. Any way you put it, people who move to SoCal are the type of people we don’t want here. You’re right. We are very different. So enjoy your ignorance, bro. I know, it’s bliss.

  15. AbandontheCube Post author

    I love this response. The post was probably a paid advertisement or an SEO attempt. I don’t remember. Best, most enthusiastically angry response we’ve had. Thank you.

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